(from the tune, “Leaving on a Jet Plane”)
A Peanuts cartoon once observed that physical pain can help a person forget about one’s psychological troubles. It’s hard to say, though, whether the narrator in the original lyrics to “Leaving on a Jet Plane” would really have found the situation improved by having to contend with a nice strong dose of motion sickness on top of everything else that was going on. But it’s hard to say.
No particular endorsement of Dramamine is intended–I prefer ginger ale.
The bags are checked; I’m ready to go.
Adrenaline begins to flow.
I feel my stomach muscles getting tense.
We’re on the plane and in the queue.
I dare not try to see the view.
Already I’m inclined to need the “gents”.
So pass me the Dramamine.
I think my face is turning green.
Already I’m so nauseous I could die.
And I’m heaving on a jet plane.
I don’t know when I’ll hold food again.
Oh, how I hate to fly.
Why must the airplane bounce around?
I’d rather be back on the ground.
Why didn’t I just take the train or drive?
The guy beside me smells like fish.
Ev’ry shock we take I make a wish
That my stomach holds till we arrive.
Landing soon? I’m glad to hear it–
Soon enough? I rather fear it
Won’t prevent the making of a mess.
How can I get on a plane
To come back home? Oh, not again!
Maybe I’ll make this my new address.