Anthem for an Internet Troll

Reading the public comments that follow news stories these days is not for the faint of heart.  Every now and then there may be an interesting point, but the good stuff tends to be obscured in a fog of paranoia, factual error, and just plain rudeness.  In fact some people seem to specialize in making comments that add more heat than light to the subject–and have an infinite amount of time available in which to do so.  Of course, it’s possible that many who engage in this behavior see themselves not as trolls but as people who are defending themselves from the real trolls…  but if it looks like a troll, walks like a troll, and quacks like a troll, what are we supposed to conclude?

This parody is meant, not to condone such behavior, but to provide a cautionary tale….

Oh, yes; and for those unfamiliar with the original tune (pause for joke about generation gap), here’s a link….

Anthem for an Internet Troll

(to the tune of the Theme from “Rawhide”)

1. Keep trollin’, trollin’, trollin’.
With your ego swollen,
Keep those comments trollin’
Chafed hide!

Bring all your thoughts together
And work ’em to a lather;
Then condescendingly deride.

Your heart’s calculatin’
The Internet is waitin’
To read your comments snarky and snide.

2. Keep movin’, movin’, movin’,
Though their case they’re provin’,
Keep that topic movin’,
Chafed hide!

Don’t try to understand ’em;
Just judge,insult, and brand ’em.
Tell them the truth is on your side!

Take things out of context;
That’ll leave ’em so vexed!
Anything to salvage your pride.

Tick ’em off, push ’em back,
Push ’em back, tick ’em off,
Tick ’em off, push ’em back,
Chafed hide!
Shut ’em up, run ’em down,
Run ’em down, shut ’em up,
Shut ’em up, shut ’em down,

Chafed hiiiiiiiide!

Copyright 2015/2017


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