Posts Tagged ‘Shakespeare’

News Flash: Acting Troupe Banned from Retirement Home After ‘King Lear’ Fracas

May 9, 2016

La Satira News Service

Authorities tonight say they are considering whether they will file charges against several senior citizens who allegedly assaulted participants in a performance of King Lear at the West Punxsutawney Retirement Home.

“Every actor wants their performance to resonate with their audience,” said Margaret de Vere, the artistic director for the Punxsutawney Players, an acting troupe based at the nearby University of Punxsutawney that specializes in bringing theatrical performances to unconventional venues.  “Evidently we stumbled onto an undamped sinusoid.”

According to witnesses, the trouble started during the second act, when a small number of audience members began to heckle the actresses playing the parts of Goneril and Regan, the title character’s daughters.  As the behavior of Lear’s “daughters” deteriorated, so did the behavior of the crowd, which started throwing bits of food, pill bottles, reading glasses, and even a couple of partials.  The unrest continued to spread, and the actors were obliged to exit as the crowd threatened to rush the stage.

“I have no idea what they were thinking, bringing in this sort of subject matter,” said Dr. Elizabeth Woodville, the director of the facility.  “While most of our residents are on quite good terms with their families, we’ll thank our visitors for not stoking any embers of inter-generational angst that might be lying around.”

“Somebody really should have seen this coming,” said Richard Gloucester, the local constable who was called in to deal with the situation.  “This may not be on par with shouting ‘Fire’ in a crowded theater, but it’s up there.”  Constable Gloucester said that the circumstances of the aggressors were being taken into consideration.

The cost of the performance was covered by Shoddi, Smarmy, Rude and Associates, a nearby law firm that specializes in estate management.  A spokesman for the firm refused to comment, apart from insisting that the firm’s only interest in underwriting the event was the desire to provide a service to the residents.

Dr. Woodville indicated that the Players will not be invited back for future performances at the home.  Any future touring performers will be subject to vetting for suitability by the staff before they are allowed to perform at the home.

“I don’t think they’ll have to worry on our account any further,” said Ms. de Vere, the Punxsutawney Players representative.  “I think after this we’ll stick to doing less controversial stuff, like Julius Caesar or Midsummer Night’s Dream.  Even Titus Andronicus might be less traumatizing than this has been,” she added.

The un-invitation from the West Punxsutawney Retirement Home is a second set-back for the Punxsutawney Players, after the cancellation of an engagement with the Bandwagon Society‘s annual charity fundraiser event.  At last year’s event, the Players presented Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens, in which a wealthy man ruins himself through unwise generosity.  The Players were asked not to return after the performance was linked to an 85% drop in pledges and donations.

Copyright 2016


News Flash: Oberon, Puck Indicted in Assault, Kidnapping Case

May 11, 2013

Titania Charged With Child Neglect

La Satira News Service

After dealing with rumors of a rift between Oberon and Titania, the fairy kingdom’s first family was further rocked this week by the formal indictment of fairy king Oberon for conspiracy, assault with a magic potion, and kidnapping.

The charges arose after Oberon hired Puck, alias Robin Goodfellow, to give Titania a magic potion that would make her more amenable to Oberon’s request that a human child in her care should be transferred to his retinue.  According to the charges, Oberon suborned his employee, Puck, to provide a magic potion that caused the victim to fall in love with the first person seen.  Oberon then used this potion on Titania to compel her to deliver to Oberon’s servants a human boy of whom Titania had legal custody.

For her part, Titania is facing charges of child neglect and endangerment.  The charges have been reduced from child abandonment following her agreement to testify against Oberon.

The child, the son of one of Titantia’s late employees, has been placed in protective custody.

Puck, who is facing charges for conspiracy and assault, as well as unrelated vandalism charges, also refused to comment, apart from stating that he was “following orders.”  The assault charges stem from Puck’s use of the magic potion on a set of humans who happened to be in the area.  Demetrius, Helena, Hermia, Lysander, and Bottom, all of Athens, have filed a civil suit against Puck for distress and mental anguish as the unwitting victims of Puck’s prank.

Helena’s suit also includes a claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress, due to the subsequent break-up of her marriage to Demetrius.  The break-up occurred after it was revealed that Demetrius had only married her in the first place due to the influence of Puck’s magic potion.  “The defendant knew perfectly well there was an antidote, and it might only be a matter of time before Demetrius ran across it,” said Homer Q. Virgil, Helena’s attorney.  “The defendant says he meant well, but considering how recklessly this was executed, he would have done better to leave the situation alone.”

Puck’s lawyer, Christopher de Vere, attempted to downplay the charges.  “Nothing that was done was specifically beyond the allowed role for mischievous fairies,” de Vere said, “I mean, what’s wrong with these people?  Can’t they take a joke?”

Copyright 2013