Following the long holiday weekend, the justice system this morning is puzzling over a lawsuit against one S. Claus for unspecified damages following an incident in which a wild animal was left unattended with a Christmas tree.
The plaintiff, E. Kitt, filed the suit, which alleges negligence, personal injury, and breach of contract after she woke up on Christmas morning to find her living room in a shambles and her Christmas tree in ruins. The plaintiff discovered the culprit to be a live sable, which bit the plaintiff on the hand as she tried to restrain it.
A source close to North Pole Enterprises, Inc., denied that the company was liable, saying that the plaintiff’s Christmas list stated very plainly that she wanted Santa to “slip a sable under the tree, for me.” “So he did,” said the source. “What the sable chose to do after that is between it and the plaintiff.”
A spokesman for the plaintiff responded that, based on the materialistic nature of the other contents of the list, including but not limited to a ’54 convertible, a yacht, decorations from Tiffany’s, and the deed to a platinum mine, Santa might have figured out that she meant a sable coat, rather than a live animal. “Let’s face it; sables are vicious little creatures,” said the spokesman. “If my client had wanted to keep animals, she probably would have gone for something a little more friendly. Like maybe a few cats.”
The case is expected to go to court early in the new year.