News Flash: Organization Declares National Greeting Card Awareness Week

La Satira News Service

Has it ever seemed like the greeting card industry keeps  trying to inflate the number of occasions that call for greeting cards?

The National Association of Greeting Card and Memorabilia Promoters (NAGCAMP) is fighting back by declaring this week National Greeting Card Awareness Week and encouraging everyone to send card to their friends and relatives to mark the occasion.

“Greeting cards play an important part in our social fabric,” said Dee Grusskarte, the Chief Publicity Officer for NAGCAMP.  “They’re part of our history.  Think about all those years spent exchanging Christmas cards and birthday cards.”

While most people these days use text messages or email to communicate, according to Ms. Grusskarte, these methods have certain drawbacks.  “Frankly, it’s nice to have something tangible, that you can hold in your hand, and that doesn’t get lost in the electronic noise,” Ms. Grusskarte explained.  “Besides, you know how it is:  we get so busy with everyday life that unless there’s an occasion we just never get around to passing on the mundane details, or even just stopping to say, ‘Hello, I’m still your friend.’  So our goal is to provide as many occasions as possible, to help people communicate.”

Ms. Grusskarte indicated that the organization would continue to seek Congressional recognition of the occasion.

Reception to the proposed new holiday has not been universally positive.  Hans Zweifler, spokesman for the Centers for Marketing in the Public Interest, accused NAGCAMP of cynically manipulating people’s sentiments.  “If they were really interested in helping people communicate,” Mr. Zweifler said, “they might consider expanding into telecommunications and internet technology, or even mediation services.  Instead, they’re trying to capitalize by guilt-tripping people into buying an ever-expanding array of greeting cards for non-existent occasions.”

Back at NAGCAMP, Ms. Grusskarte denied Mr. Zweifler’s allegations.  “Of course we make money selling greeting cards,” Ms. Grusskarte responded.  “We see it as a symbiotic relationship.  Most people have an emotional need to connect; we help provide a way to connect them.  So what if we make money, as long as everyone’s happy?”

The Postal Service would neither confirm nor deny rumors that they had provided assistance to NAGCAMP in developing the idea for the new holiday, but suggested that, if the Centers for Marketing in the Public Interest wished to stop proposals to make the National Greeting Card Awareness Week a formal holiday, a mail-out campaign would be a logical and relatively inexpensive first step.

Copyright 2014

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One Response to “News Flash: Organization Declares National Greeting Card Awareness Week”

  1. dhparker Says:

    NAGCAMP Hahahahaha…

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