La Satira News Service
Democracy or Else, a grass-roots organization dedicated to promoting the notion of grass-roots organizations, announced this week that it was urging a boycott on a popular candy on the grounds that it promoted tyranny and dictatorship.
The target of the boycott is the Cinnamon Imperial, the small, hard candy used in decorating cookies and other confections.
“I was shocked–shocked!–to find these mind-poison pills were still for sale,” said Mr. Erik Schreien, the leader of the group. “The notion that a product so steeped in outmoded, imperialistic perspectives would even be available in a mature democracy is something that should give us pause. It’s our duty to campaign against these present-day reminders of former evils.”
According to Mr. Schreien, the boycott is already bearing fruit. “The fact that cinnamon imperials have virtually disappeared from grocery store shelves is a testament to the effectiveness of our boycott,” Mr. Schreien said.
Tom Randall, spokesman for EulaMart grocery stores, disagreed with this interpretation. “The reason cinnamon imperials are disappearing from store shelves is that nobody’s buying them,” Mr. Randall said. “Between the end of the Christmas baking season and the fact that people in general are doing less of their own baking, there’s not a lot of reason to stock them.”
“Their quest does seem a little quixotic,” said Kelpie Berger-Picard, president of the Bandwagon Society. “But clearly it’s something about which they feel strongly, so of course we’ll support them. And let’s face it: ‘Cinnamon Imperials’ is a strange name. For me it always conjures up images of a red-helmeted Darth Vader marching down a hallway followed by a herd of stormtroopers in red armor.”
The move follows last year’s boycott on products sold by Imperial Sugar. That boycott, according to Democracy or Else’s webpage, will stay in place until the company agrees to change its name to something a little less imperialistic.
Above: Cinnamon Imperials. Innocent candy decor or call to empire?