La Satira News Service
Havana, Cuba (July 2014)–Officials at the Ministry of Dubious Cargoes are ordering thorough investigations to determine how a clerical error in a shipping office mistakenly sent weapons bound for the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) to Ecuador and a foreign political asylum candidate to the DPRK instead.
The error came to light when the Ecuadorean Ministry of Incoming Refugees sent a message to the Cuban embassy asking why they were receiving this particular cargo of superannuated weaponry and not their expected passenger, an individual codenamed Eduardo Blancanieves who is being pursued by the United States on charges of espionage and leaking sensitive information.
Mr. Blancanieves, who leaked certain information on government monitoring to protest what he saw as overly-intrusive behavior by the federal government, could not be reached for a personal comment. A representative of the DPRK government passed on a message purportedly from Mr. Blancanieves praising the hospitality of Kim Jong Un.
The long, strange journey of Mr. Blancanieves has been a subject of diplomatic wrangling, media curiosity, and political posturing for more than a year now. After being granted temporary asylum in Moscow, Mr. Blancanieves is believed to have arrived in Cuba in early January.
Preliminary investigations suggest that, once both cargoes were loaded on their respective ships and hidden beneath a camouflage of bags of sugar, a miscommunication occurred as to which ship should head toward which destination.
The government of Panama sent a strongly worded letter of protest to the Cuban Embassy, criticising Cuba for using the Panama Canal to transport a dangerous cargo with the potential for destabilizing the political environment. Panama also objected to the use of the canal for transporting weapons.