Titania Charged With Child Neglect

La Satira News Service

After dealing with rumors of a rift between Oberon and Titania, the fairy kingdom’s first family was further rocked this week by the formal indictment of fairy king Oberon for conspiracy, assault with a magic potion, and kidnapping.

The charges arose after Oberon hired Puck, alias Robin Goodfellow, to give Titania a magic potion that would make her more amenable to Oberon’s request that a human child in her care should be transferred to his retinue.  According to the charges, Oberon suborned his employee, Puck, to provide a magic potion that caused the victim to fall in love with the first person seen.  Oberon then used this potion on Titania to compel her to deliver to Oberon’s servants a human boy of whom Titania had legal custody.

For her part, Titania is facing charges of child neglect and endangerment.  The charges have been reduced from child abandonment following her agreement to testify against Oberon.

The child, the son of one of Titantia’s late employees, has been placed in protective custody.

Puck, who is facing charges for conspiracy and assault, as well as unrelated vandalism charges, also refused to comment, apart from stating that he was “following orders.”  The assault charges stem from Puck’s use of the magic potion on a set of humans who happened to be in the area.  Demetrius, Helena, Hermia, Lysander, and Bottom, all of Athens, have filed a civil suit against Puck for distress and mental anguish as the unwitting victims of Puck’s prank.

Helena’s suit also includes a claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress, due to the subsequent break-up of her marriage to Demetrius.  The break-up occurred after it was revealed that Demetrius had only married her in the first place due to the influence of Puck’s magic potion.  “The defendant knew perfectly well there was an antidote, and it might only be a matter of time before Demetrius ran across it,” said Homer Q. Virgil, Helena’s attorney.  “The defendant says he meant well, but considering how recklessly this was executed, he would have done better to leave the situation alone.”

Puck’s lawyer, Christopher de Vere, attempted to downplay the charges.  “Nothing that was done was specifically beyond the allowed role for mischievous fairies,” de Vere said, “I mean, what’s wrong with these people?  Can’t they take a joke?”

Copyright 2013



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