La Satira News Service

West Egg, NY–Authorities in West Egg have added charges against neighbor Nick Carraway, accusing him of masterminding the killing spree that claimed the lives of socialite Jay Gatsby, garage attendant George Wilson, and the latter’s wife, Myrtle Wilson.

Investigators had previously identified Carraway as a “person of interest” in the case. The West Egg police chief refused to comment on what new evidence had come to light to cause them to add the new charges.

“Mr. Carraway is clearly a dangerous person,” said a source close to the case. “Even though he gives the impression of being easy-going and friendly, almost to the point of imbecility, he has shown an amazing ability to get his way. Witness his ability to get a job as a bond salesman and keep it, even though there’s no record of him actually doing work for his ostensible employer.”

According to charges, Mr. Carraway did not take the 3:30 train to West Egg on the day in question, as he claimed, but in fact took an earlier train, and was lurking in Gatsby’s yard when Wilson arrived. Carraway allegedly ambushed Gatsby, then manipulated Wilson into committing suicide.

The turning point in the case came after new evidence came in from a police informant known only as M. W., who claimed to have been a confidant of Gatsby.  M. W.’s testimony suggests that Gatsby was secretly worried by the presence of Mr. Carraway, owing to some incident in Montenegro during the Great War.

Police are also seeking the whereabouts of a man known only as Klipspringer who was staying at Gatsby’s residence and might know more. No one has reported seeing Klipspringer since the fateful afternoon.

“Mr. Carraway certainly tells a compelling story,” said W. T. Cringeworthy, the assistant District Attorney prosecuting the case. “He has a flair for detail and colorful imagery, and some might even say symbolism; but that shouldn’t blind us to the fact that practically everything we know about the case is told from his perspective–we only see what he wants us to see. We believe Mr. Carraway had reason to want Mr. Gatsby dead, and that he was ruthless enough not to mind the deaths of the Wilsons as well. We also believe he is trying to incriminate his so-called friends the Buchanans…not that much needed to be done to incriminate them.”

Lawyers representing Mr. Carraway, who are being supplied by the Mr. Carraway’s employer, had no comment.

Anyone with further information in the case is advised to contact the West Egg Police Department at their earliest convenience.

Copyright 2013


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