La Satira News Service
A local animal rights group has added its voice to the chorus of disapproval surrounding Florida’s attempts to rid itself of invasive reptiles. “All animals deserve to be treated with respect and love,” said Draco Narrasti, the head organizer of Runaway Reptile Rescue, an activist group seeking to end the barbaric treatment of Burmese pythons in South Florida. The group seeks to stop hunts for the invasive species, seeking instead to introduce them into homes where they can get the love and care they deserve.
“That’s all any pet really wants, isn’t it: a home where it can be loved, sheltered, and fed,” said Mr. Narrasti. “Is it really so much?”
To some people, it would appear so. “We would like to remind Mr. Narrasti and his group that most of the snakes in question have never in fact been pets,” said an unnamed spokesperson, speaking off-the-record for a department of the state government that wished not to be mentioned. “We’re talking about reptiles, and wild ones at that. They have no concept of love or affection… despite their reputation for being generous with hugs.”
The Runaway Reptile Rescue group has set up a picketing site in Tallahassee across from the office responsible for reigning in the rampant reptiles.
A second picketing site has been set up across the street by a group calling itself Houses for Mouses, which seeks to end the cruel practice of feeding live rats and mice to pet snakes. “It really is the darkest side of the pet industry,” said Mick Saguaren, the spokesman for Houses for Mouses. “We know what happens to all those cute little rats and mice that don’t get sold. They aren’t given away–they’re just moved next door, as it were. It’s high time the pet industry exercised a little self-control, and made the effort to find a good home for unsold rodents.”
Still, the news on that front isn’t all bad, said Mr. Saguaren. “We just received word that there’s an organization in southern Florida that said they were interested in helping us out, and adopting all the unwanted rodents we could lay our hands on. We don’t know much about them yet, just that they’re calling themselves ‘RRR.’ But they say they’ll be able to find suitable placement for them.”
“And that’s all any pet really wants, isn’t it: a home where it can be loved, sheltered, and fed,” said Mr. Saguaren. “Is it really so much?”