Dear Mr. DiCaprio:
I was highly amused to receive from the National Resources Defense Council (NRDC) an emotive letter begging everyone to urge the Bush Administration to save the polar bear. Since it would be futile to lay a logical argument against your emotional pity-party, I’ll confine myself to a few quick points.
First of all, lots of animals die in nature. That, as unpleasant as it is, is a fact of nature. If it makes you feel better, think of all the cute little seals who might go on to live full and happy lives free of having to worry about being grabbed by a hungry polar bear.
Second, I should point out that, as much as the NRDC hates “Big Oil,” you might wish to consider the implications of not drilling. Surely the economic woes brought on in part by $4/gal. gasoline–higher commuting costs, general inflation, etc.–are starting to cause an impact in the amount of your donation receipts. I’m sure you’re familiar with the expression, “strangling on your own success.”
Third, I am fascinated that at this late date you should be calling for people to appeal to the Bush administration, which has only six more months in office. Whatever you think of Bush’s environmental policies, this seems ultimately futile. First, a lame-duck president, especially this one, isn’t likely to change his mind under a tide of popular opinion; second, even if he did, it’s doubtful that there’s enough time left in his administration to tackle anything substantive before January. Your efforts may be better directed toward influencing the next president, perhaps even endorsing a candidate. Of course that might jeopardize your highly-valuable tax-exempt status.
But any sacrifice is worth it for the polar bears, right?
Your “friend”–or so you say…